Friday, January 09, 2009

late christmas letter post or the letter that didn't make it to the mail


Dame/Norris Christmas Letter-


This year we have had another addition to our family. It’s not another dog or even a child. This year Chuck Norris moved into our home.
Ever since Walker: Texas Ranger was canceled and the Gov. Huckabee thing ran its course Chuck has hit hard times. Cristi and I have always been big fans of Chuck and his entire body of work. Even the infomercials. So let me update you on our year with Chuck or as I like to call him sometime Walker.
I’m writing this on Chuck’s laptop and I just realized there’s not backspace and no ctrl button. Why you ask, because Chuck Norris doesn’t make mistakes and he’s always in control.
This year has been pretty spectacular much like witnessing a roundhouse to the face of an evildoer by Chuck.
We started out this year with a tragic accident. Cristi while bending over to pick up a bone was struck a heavy blow by our dog El Guapo. Guapo likes to jump, and he jumped right into Cristi’s tooth and broke it in half. After some major surgeries and some extensive work Cristi’s tooth has been restored.
Chuck was looking for a job since a lot of his endorsements had ended. Total gym was a good gig while it lasted, but Chuck needed something to really put him back on his feet, plus he eats a lot since he’s gotta keep his energy up. I suggested that he be a toilet paper spokesman, but he looked me dead in the eye with those intense piercing eyes and said, “Brooks I don’t take crap from anyone”. Too true too true, what was I thinking suggesting it?
For my birthday Cristi got me a WII and it is pretty fun. I’m pretty good at guitar hero and so is Cristi. But of course Chuck is the best. He has a mean power stance.
Cristi was working the wedding circuit and shooting photographs for a good chunk of the summer. It seemed like almost every weekend Cristi had a wedding this summer.
We did take a trip or two in the mountains and then got the opportunity to go film a documentary in Venezuela. We worked down there with the Barri and the Yukpa Indian tribes who suffer from lack of medicine. We spent two weeks down there shooting video and photos. We left Chuck at home; we knew if he came down he’d probably have to roundhouse Hugo Chavez.
In the Fall Chuck decided he wanted to go out on his own to pursue the meaning of life. He said, “Brooks, I appreciate your hospitality this year, you have taught me a lot. There have been many times that I have wanted to roundhouse the smile off your face, like the time you made fun of my hit movie Delta Force. But, you have helped me so much this year when I was down and out. Now is my time to go back in the world and make my mark one more time. Thank you my friend. Thank you”. At this point you’d think he would cry or hug me, but Walker TEXAS ranger does not hug and does not ever cry.
In order to celebrate Chuck leaving, we went to Hawaii for Christmas with the family.

Good luck chuck. Good luck. And Merry Christmas.

3 comments:

P. Kelly Smith said...

Brooks, I'm a fan of the Chuckster as well. You know, he's an ambassador to Texas. I hear he's going to be President's Bush vice president for the Republic of Texas. Maybe that's why you feel such a loyal kinship to him. Long live Chuck Norris!

daveandabbyjohnsonfamily said...

LOVE the pic! How are you guys? Hope you had fun in Hawaii!

DC Diva said...

You are late w/ the Christmas letter and I am REALLY late reading it. But that doesn't meant I didn't totally love every word. Buy-bye, Chuck. Maybe they'll bring you to MD next time.